9 Ways We're Screwing Up Our Girls and How We Can Stop

 


 

By the age of 9, the average girl will feel as good as she’s ever going to feel about herself.  After that, her self-esteem starts to take a nosedive, from which she may never fully recover. Why does her self-esteem follow this disheartening trajectory? Why are so many girls and women plagued by feelings of self-doubt? Whether we’re aware of it or not, we live in a culture that still values, trusts, and empowers males over females. Our traditions, politics, language, laws, media, and school curriculums are all rooted in a value system that perpetuates messages of female weakness, dependence and inferiority. We tell girls and women every day that they are less valuable than males, incapable of leadership and not worthy of being respected as equals.

These messages deeply impact a girl’s sense of value and her ability to thrive. By the time she enters adolescence, she becomes susceptible to poor academic performance, depression, eating disorders, bullying, risky sexual behavior, and simply feeling ‘not good enough.’ Though these dire consequences affect girls and women most directly, they are detrimental to us all. Like any team on which half the players are unable to perform to their fullest potential, this state of affairs leaves our whole society functioning at a deficit.

The good news is that because we created this reality, we also have the ability to create it differently. 9 Ways is a revolutionary guide for parents and anyone who cares about the well-being of girls. It is dedicated to shedding much-needed light on the root causes of the self-esteem crisis, the ways we are unknowingly contributing to it, and what we can do to ensure that every girl (and future woman) is empowered to live up to her full potential.

Drawing from more than 20 years of experience working with girls and women, Anea Bogue provides both insight and specific action steps that empower the reader to help create a world in which the female half of our ‘team’ is consistently capable of thriving mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

 

What People Are Saying

“Anea’s book is really needed at this time and it not only identifies many of the root causes to the female self-esteem crisis but provides action steps that can be taken to help empower girls. Anea is doing wonderful things for so many girls and women of all ages helping them accept who they are and be their authentic selves.”
–Stacy London, Co-Host, What Not to Wear

"It is essential now that we gain a clearer, deeper and better understanding of the roles society and culture have played in socializing our girls, so that we can make the necessary positive shifts towards supporting their full expression and true empowerment. Their wholeness and contributions are essential to our collective future and I commend Anea on her clear and powerful analysis. Her book will be helpful to everyone who reads it." 
--Jennifer Buffett, Advocate for Women and Girls, President of the NoVo Foundation

“As women and as mothers, we need to be equipped to teach our daughters how to be confident and love themselves through all of life's ups and downs. Anea's new book teaches us how to empower our daughters to look inward for self-confidence instead of being overly influenced by today's stereotypes.”
–Fran Hauser, President of Time Digital

“Anea Bogue has done the impossible: She has taken what is normally volatile and highly-charged subject matter (regarding girls, empowerment, sexuality, parental guidance, patriarchy) and speaks directly to her audience in a no-nonsense, grounded voice of female authority that calms, inspires, and guides the reader. Rather than watching our girls lose their precious confidence at the threshold of adolescence, let us join together in guiding them toward good solutions for building and keeping their self-esteem. I love this book! I want to share it with all the Moms and girls in my life, beginning with my daughter and granddaughter, and moving out from there.”
- Vicki Noble, author of Shakti Woman and The Double Goddess.

“Anea's book is a straight talking, straight shooting wake-up call for everyone who cares about women, girls, and health. It's a gem.”
-Christiane Northrup, M.D., ob/gyn physician and author of the New York Times bestsellers: Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom and The Wisdom of Menopause

"Anea Bogue’s inspiring voice and sense of direction are felt in this work. It is an urgent call to both women and men to shape our future through concrete actions, which support and encourage our girls. She offers clear, practical suggestions, which can make our daughters stronger, more resilient, more self-directed, more aware of their capabilities. The values we instill in the next generation are among the most important items on our social agenda, and it is reassuring to be reminded by Bogue that it is in our power to help the girls in our lives reach their fullest potential – we need not wait for new laws or institutions to take the lead." 
-D'vorah J. Grenn, Ph.D Director, Women's Spirituality MA Program, Sofia University, author, Lilith's Fire (Grenn-Scott, 2000)

"Anea Bogue's new book really gets to the crux of the problem as to why, even as we ride the third wave of feminism, we are still not fully addressing the needs of adolescent girls. More importantly, she gives us some practical action steps to take so that we can finally stop talking about the problem and do something about it."
-Kristi Meisenbach Boylan, author of The Seven Sacred Rites of Menarche: The Spiritual Journey of the Adolescent Girl

"Working with Anea Bogue was one of the best things I ever did for myself and my daughters [and for their future daughters too]. Anea helped us to see that we are the 'captains of our own ships'. She showed us how to trust ourselves and not take crap from anyone - including ourselves! Her book is absolutely wonderful. It's jam-packed with all Anea's warm wit, brilliant insights and compassionate wisdom. Buy it, read it, and do what it says, and the world will be a much better and brighter place for EVERYONE."
-Carol Hughes, Author & Mom of two daughters

“I founded DailyWorth.com to empower women by encouraging financial engagement and promoting the relationship between self-worth and net worth. I commend Anea on the great work that she is doing to empower women and girls. I have a daughter and am concerned about what is going on in pop culture and what she sees and hears. Anea’s book will be a big help for many.”
–Amanda Steinberg, CEO and Founder of www.DailyWorth.com

“Females of all ages could benefit from Anea’s expertise and how she helps empower adolescent girls and women. Girls today are easily influenced by what they see on tv and in magazines, hear on the radio, and a book like Anea’s will hopefully help these young girls be authentic and comfortable in their own skin not trying to be something that they see in the media which is nearly impossible to be.”
– Alexandra Paul, Actress & Activist

 


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Q.

There aren’t a lot of girls in my grade. What if I don’t have a BFF in my class?

 



A.

First I want to acknowledge how challenging the reality of having so few girls in your grade must be for you. That said...



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